That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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