this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize