so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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