turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
