Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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