winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
