I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
