Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
