Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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