Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
