so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
