Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
