Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i think my cat just said my name.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize