I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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