Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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