He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize