My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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