first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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