Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize