kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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