thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
