It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
