this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
