no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
