People in love make me want to vomit
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
