thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
