just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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