so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
