apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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