once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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