just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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