You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
