I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
