Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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