it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We have started to decorate penises.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
