Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
