Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need a beard to bite.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
