Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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