We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
