She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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