I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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