new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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