Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
