he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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