It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
