If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
