You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
