I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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