If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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