So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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