Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
