I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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