i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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