booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
