i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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