just come out here and I will go home with you...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
