you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
how drunk are you?
Several
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
