the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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