Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
